Just a Thought…

Issa Rae

It’s day 3 of the New Year, I’m already hoping that I can turn over a new leaf. I’m hoping that this is the year that I take control of my sleep habits. See, I am not like most people who can easily fall asleep and stay asleep. Before you think that this post is going to be brimming with data and information about sleep I would like you to know that I don’t have any. This is just my comparison of younger me to present me. The me who is sitting here writing about a full night’s sleep. Something I would never have done as the younger me.

When I can’t sleep, I lay awake, tossing and turning wishing that I could sleep. I squeeze my eyes shut, still nothing. I want to open my mouth and scream but, what would that do aside from wake everyone else up? That wouldn’t be fair. Why subject other people to that? I often want to wail like a child without the skills to communicate, throw a temper tantrum, legs kicking arms flailing! I wish sleep could swiftly bring me into a dreamy quiet wonderland. Instead, I am awake!

I miss the good old days where sleep was attainable. I could go to bed, sit on a couch, or even on a bus and drift off. Not a care in the world of whose shoulder my head was resting upon or what dusty window was supporting me. Remember those days? No meditation needed, soothing sounds, ocean waves, or pink noise. I can admit, I took it for granted.

Meditation is a staple in my hunt for sleep. Focusing on what the guided meditation expert says sometimes helps. It distracts me from the other things I usually focus on like:

  • How much sleep am I going to get?
  • Why do left-handed people have trouble using right-handed scissors?
  • Wouldn’t it be cool if numbers didn’t exist?
  • Do birds wonder why humans don’t fly?
  • Wouldn’t it be cool if numbers didn’t exist?
  • When is Season 5 of insecure coming out?

Most nights I do breathing exercises. Hoping that every breath will be the one where I fall into my pillow and find sleep waiting for me. Deep sleep, you know, the kind of sleep that dreams are made of.

Around 7:30pm every night, I begin thinking if I eat that, will I sleep? I should stay off my phone and start shutting out the world. Otherwise, it will all charge at me as soon as my head hits the pillow. What nightmares await me if I watch that show or read that book? Is that a discussion I really want to have right before bed? I even wonder if I am tired enough to sleep.

Most nights, I don’t want to hunt. I just don’t feel like it! For once, it would be nice if sleep chased me instead. When it grabs hold, and I finally fall into sleep, will I be on the edge of a precipice, about to be kicked off by a feathered beast with gigantic lemur eyes? I imagine myself sitting in a glowing orange treestand in hopes that sleep doesn’t miss me! That is why I wrote this.

Just a thought…

Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a safe and fantastic start to 2021!

17 thoughts on “Just a Thought…

  1. Meditation has seriously helped me with my insomnia and anxiety a lot and so has oils. CBD oil is one thing I have found extremely helpful lately.

  2. Seems you have a penchant for numbers🙃.By the way, I’ve given in to being nocturnal, so I’m fine with my 4 hrs of day sleep; and yes, birds wonder why humans don’t fly; at least that’s what one wise Macaw told me😁.

    Nice sketch of Issa Rae though, haven’t seen insecure yet, but I’m still OD’d on her Photograph.

  3. I feel you. Sleep in 2020 seemed like it was a real challenge. Here’s to hoping that some of the issues that plagued our mindset last year, will be on the decline this year and a good nights sleep will be more easily attainable.

  4. Thank you for the compliments. I’m convinced numbers and I just can’t get along! 🤣

    I’m really enjoying doing the portraits. I will be doing more of that this year. 😁

  5. I haven’t tried it. But, hopefully with more of a routine it will get better soon. I’ve even tried yoga for sleep. I think once I get used to anything I try it seems to stop working. Is that even possible? 🤔Good to see you back hun! Thank you for commenting!

  6. I totally get the sleep issues…I ended up letting it be what it is, because nothing seemed to work and the more things I tried the less they worked! Hopefully your new year will be a restful and healthy one.

  7. That does happen sometimes because your body gets used to it unfortunately. Thank you- I’m so happy to be back!

  8. I’m sorry to hear that you have the same issue. I think I will follow your path especially since whatever I try doesn’t last. Hopefully this year is better for both of us. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  9. It’s Rio😀, and unless he gives more striking poses to best his female counterpart, I’ll hold off😂.

    Jokes aside, I’ll probably draw more after my portraits project🤞.

  10. Sleep and I are on and off friends! I try many different things to get a good sleep. My favourite is Lavender! It works for a few nights then I have to try something else on my list! People have told me to set a bedtime routine! It’s hard but it worked for me at some point! One more thing, Make your bed when you wake up, it might work for you!

  11. Yeah the problem with bedtime routines for me is that just like everything else I get used to it. I haven’t tried Lavender in a while though. I do make my bed, it is so inviting at the end of the day.

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