T’was the night before 40…And as much as I tried, I just couldn’t remember the rest of the poem. The toothaches had started and body aches too. Sometimes I have trouble hearing but, what am I going to do? Pretending works, the secret is to nod as though you understood and wait for more.

I’m so lucky, most people say the same thing twice before moving on to what they really intend to say.

Truth, my closet is currently undergoing a dose of gentrification. Yeah, it happens to the best of us. I’m in the process of improving it so that it conforms to middle-class taste. I’m getting rid of the deteriorated urban clothing by means of more affluent clothing…I’m making my closet more refined. So here goes…

• Torn jeans, you may go.
• Tight dress that I wore in my twenties, yeah you! Take your too short hemline and leave.
• Sweats with logos that are any larger than my index finger, no thanks. I really don’t need to make that statement.
• And oh yes, my baggy jeans I love you so much especially when I’m chilling in the cut. Yes, they are literally as old as that saying. You need to go too.
• All tops that are too short to tuck in if I wanted to.
• Anything that has a pattern aside from a stripe you too may leave and swiftly, you will not be worn again. Calling all polka dots, hearts and anything that’s been on the fashion wait list meet me outside by the bonfire.

For my small purse, I’m going to hang on to you, because rumour has it that once you give in to the larger purses it’s permission to carry unnecessary thingsssss. Same with my middle-class cardigans, not the ones without the holes in the elbow. You too may stay because you make me look like someone out of a fashion magazine when I pair you correctly. Jewellery that does not look worn or tattered, even though I bought you from that hair store. Really, who will notice? You may stay for another day or two.

Last but not least my Northface coat…Oh hell no! you are staying exactly where you belong, on my back keeping me warm! Not to worry this closets gentrification won’t last, let’s be real. This is all just an excuse for me to shop. All of my urban wear will be back real soon! Soon to come baggy jeans and running shoes! or the outfit above???

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